Bad Cat Habits
My pet’s least likeable trait? This is way too easy.
The winner of this dubious award goes to Cat One. The offending character trait?
He licks himself. There. All. The. Time.
He does it more frequently than any animal I’ve ever known. He does it anywhere he darn well pleases and in front of anyone. He has no shame. It’s embarrassing, really, to be in the middle of a festive gathering of family and friends enjoying good food and good company only to be interrupted by Cat One plopping himself in the middle of the floor and going about the business of cleaning his business. How rude.
I will give him this, though – he does it with gusto. And he gets his hind leg into a position that amazes me and holds it for a good long time. If Cat One were a human being and could hold a pose like that, he would have some seriously slender thighs and a very firm tuchus.
Cat Two’s most annoying character trait has to be his bizarre habit of walking on me in the middle of the night. Yes, walking. He walks on top of me like I’m a mountain and he’s a mountain lion. For a very small cat, he is surprisingly heavy at 3:00 in the morning. And he’s exceptionally adept at finding a nerve to step on so that it feels like I’m being stabbed.
Awesome.
And then there’s Cat Three. I had to think a little harder on this one because, well, Cat Three is a pretty sweet cat and doesn’t have too many unlikeable traits. But the Fab Hub reminded me that Cat Three is the one who sits in the downstairs hallway late at night and howls. Same time, almost every night. Just howls. He howls like a lovesick coyote and sounds as pathetic as can be. I don’t know why he howls. Maybe he’s hungry. Maybe he wants to go to bed. Maybe he just wants us to know that he is displeased about the fact that he’s downstairs and everyone else is upstairs. Who knows?
Truth be told, though, these Rotten Boys are pretty loveable. Even I, a lifelong cat hater, can’t think what our house and our family would be like without them. They are pretty sweet, helpfully warm and cozy on cold feet, and generally well-behaved.
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Your kitties are adorable! I miss having cats in my life…
I have three for rent…
How do you tell them apart?
Some days, we don’t. Truly. On those days, any cat in question is referred to as “the black one.” But they do differ in size, weight, and body shape. And they each have identifying white hairs in particular spots. But you really have to look for them. Most of the time…yeah, “the black one.”
Why does it hurt so much when a cat walks on us? They weigh so little, but I guess that smidgen of weight all deposited on one paw really packs a wallop.
I had to laugh when you talked about your cat cleaning himself. My female dog has an inverted vulva (sorry, TMI for sure!) and she has to clean herself every time after she urinates. My daughter yells at her to stop it when she does it, but I keep telling her that while it may be gross, she has to do it or she’ll get an infection. When we first got her the vet told me that we should be wiping her with witch hazel after every time she urinates. Um, no. So far she has been cleaning herself and so far so good. (Again, probably far to much TMI. Sorry.)
This is too funny, Heather – and yet not. Poor Puppy! I’m so glad I’m not the only one with a pet who has less than polite hygiene habits, though. I suppose we should be grateful for their self-cleaning efforts if the alternative is doing it for them.
As for the heavy cat thing? I have no idea. It defies the laws of science, if you ask me. (But then again, my science grades in school were questionable at best.) It’s the smallest cat so you’d think it wouldn’t be so offensive – he weighs ten pounds if he’s lucky, but when he stands on the side of my leg at night, I’d swear he was fifty. I think it’s precision placement of the paw. Definitely.
My cat Pounce gets up on my hip and goes to sleep. She also has an annoying habit of purring right in my face at 4am. I guess everyone has their quirks…
Particularly, cats, apparently!
We had this one cat, Crytstal, who would drag her ass all the way across the carpet. Like, the asshole part. GAG!
That is so gross – my Mom had a dog that did that. Nastiest thing I’ve ever seen.
The howling is what would drive me insane. How long does he do it for? Daisy howls when we come into the house but it’s more of a greeting. She stops as soon as we pet her.
Sometimes 5 minutes…sometimes an hour. Usually more like the hour. It might be helpful if we actually knew why he was doing it but we have no clue.
Our dog cleans himself CONSTANTLY and it is the most obnoxious thing to listen to at 1am. I feel your pain.
Oh, how gross. That would be a foul nighttime sound indeed. Well, at least he’s cleaning…
You are right: coming up with unlovable characteristics of pets is too easy!
Carmen, my big girl, is a bully. Fortunately Lemon, our other cat, thinks it’s playing and eggs her on. It isn’t playing!
Lemon, on the other hand, likes to scratch on the carpet while looking at me to get attention. Squirt bottles work, but I often don’t have one with me … and she knows it!
Ours do that – one wants to start a fight, the other thinks it’s playing and then trouble ensures. Or one wants to play and another is not in the mood. Fur flies often with three boys in the house!
We solved our carpet scratching problem by getting them a little thing that has carpet on it and a square of it attached to it. They can scratch carpet to their hearts’ content and have since left our real carpet alone!