Did You Really Say What I Think You Said?

Sometimes life is absurd.

Over the several years, Fab Husband and I have found ourselves saying things out loud that are seemingly absurd.  Generally, it is something one of us overhears when the other is in the next room.  By themselves, these things are truly absurd.  However, when placed within the context of raising a preschooler, these utterances become perfectly reasonable.

Here is a small sampling:

“Stop chewing on your brain.”

This is really just good advice.  Kidzilla found a stress ball shaped like a brain.  It is pink.  She likes pink.  A very short time ago, she was a baby.  Babies like to chew on things.  Kidzilla adopted the brain and started gnawing away.

“Please take your octopus off the table.”

Simple scenario here.  There was a toy octopus on the table.  It needed to leave the table so that we could eat dinner.  Hence the request.  From the kitchen without the necessary visual, though, this one was a riot.

“That is not a sheep, it’s Noah’s wife.”

This is one of my favorites.  Kidzilla loves Noah’s Ark and all things animal.  At the time of this statement, she was new to the speaking thing.  If I recall correctly, she held a Fisher Price Little People figure in her hand and asked Fab Dad if it was a sheep.  We think Zilla meant to ask if the figure was a shepherd, but couldn’t quite get her tiny self to spit out that big word.

We have dozens and dozens more.  We are certain of this.  But neither Fab Husband nor I could recall any other specific ones.  See, we used to keep a running list on the refrigerator.  And when one of us spoke such an absurdity, it went on The List.

But we clearly stopped updating The List at some point.

The only factor to which we can attribute this lack of record-keeping is that we have simply become desensitized to the bizarre utterances of adults who live with a person under the age of five.  We are used to it; we expect it now.  Inquiries about eight-legged sea creatures and crocodiles on furniture, requests to stop ingesting body parts, and discussions about farm animals and Biblical figures are simply any Thursday around here.

The absurd has become the new normal.

What strange things have kids prompted you to say?