One Good Turn Deserves Another

September 11, 2014 Off By Lisa

If you’re going to call someone out on something, you should probably be prepared to put your money where your mouth is, so to speak.

I checked in with Lizzi the other day because, while she is far from being absent to her blog, it seemed unusual not to see a post from her in relatively short time. So we had a little to-do about the whole thing, which she outlines perfectly on her page, but in the end she turned out a lovely tribute to Autumn in England, despite not being a fan of the season herself.

And then it occurred to me that other than the TToT lists, there has been a whole lot of nothing in this space over the last couple of weeks. I knew I kind of had to pony up and write something, too, since I gave Lizzi a hard time and all. I could cite the old Lack of Inspiration excuse as Lizzi did in our little row. I could beg off on the Illness excuse because I have, after all been fighting with this devil of a something-or-other for about the last two weeks. And then there’s the Kidzilla Just Started School one and the Starting Up My New Career one…

They’re all true. What else is true is the fact that the longer you languish and don’t do a thing to address a dry spell or a busy time or a complication (pick any word you like), the easier it becomes to keep making excuses for not doing it. And then the thing becomes a much bigger THING and who wants to deal with it then? Like doing the laundry. You can skip laundry day because you have plenty of clothing to wear without bothering about the laundry. It’s not like you’ll go to work naked. But sooner or later you run out of options and you’re faced with the decision to do the laundry or go buy new underwear so you can continue to avoid doing the laundry.

But every time I sat to write, I either drew a blank and stared at the screen or had a great idea, but couldn’t manage to find a way to get it into words. Frustrating. I really had no idea what to write or how to get it on the screen. I decided to employ the strategy I offered to any student who ever told me they didn’t know what to write: write about the fact that you don’t know what to write. Eventually, something will click and you’ll be fine. Just write. It’s a little metaphysical, perhaps, but it works.

The conclusion that finally hit me was that I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated that I’m not writing. I’m frustrated that I’ve been sick with all of this upper respiratory, allergic, corn smutty nonsense for the better part of two weeks. I’m frustrated that my home remedies have not worked as well as they generally do. I’m frustrated that I broke down and went with the prescription antibiotic. I’m frustrated that it wreaked havoc on my entire system. (Medicine, indeed – it made me feel worse!) I’m frustrated that I’m not cooking as much and whipping up gloriously healthy meals for my family every single night. I’m frustrated that my new-and-improved employment status is not progressing as quickly as I’d like it to. I’m frustrated that I haven’t conquered the long list of projects I planned to tackle once Kidzilla and the Hub were out of the house every day because I’ve been miserable and sick and exhausted. I’m frustrated that I’m not exercising because my lungs quit working after I tie my shoes. I’m frustrated that the Hub and I are bickering constantly because we’re both stressed out and trying to figure out all of these new roles and procedures and ways of doing life and it isn’t going all that smoothly yet.

You get the picture.

Argh!

But in the midst of all of that, I remembered something. OK, I remembered it because the Hub made a comment about a particular situation and it made me realize that it is applicable to the entire scenario here. Life is a process. It takes effort. And something worth doing is worth the effort to do it.

I know. Even when he’s driving me completely nuts, he’s still pretty awesome.

I’m frustrated because I wanted something magical to happen that would deliver me to a state of finished, checked off the list, and finalized by now (in about ten different areas) and that’s just not the way it is. Things rarely go quite the way we plan them and the more we try to control it all, the more that imagined control slips away from us.

There is a great cause and effect dynamic at work in the world. Over the last few days, I’ve tried to piece some of that together. For example, I know that my physical ailments right now are the direct cause of corn smut season. (Yeah – if you missed that, read about it here.) But part of me also thinks I fell victim to it in a big bad way this year because I was not having my daily smoothie. A simple morning ritual, perhaps, but having that smoothie every day with all those superfoods blended together makes a huge difference in my overall health – RA, allergies, etc. I’m sure of it. In the weeks prior to corn smut season, I was not getting a smoothie in every morning. I’ve been praying and reading my Bible less lately and I find myself much more anxious about everything than when those things are a regular and primary focus in my day. I could give you ten more examples here, but I’ll spare you.

I want everything back to normal (whatever that is) and back to the way I imagined it would be right at this moment and I want it that way now. But like my Hub reminded me this morning, it’s a process. All of it. So I’m going to shift my focus from being frustrated about all that is not the way I want it to be and move it to taking the little steps necessary to ensure that I’m working toward getting things in order.

And who knows? Maybe I’ll be inspired to write again tomorrow.