TToT – My People
There’s a lot going on around here right now.
The in-real world is pretty stressful and demanding right now and I’d be lying if I said I’m handling with anything close to finesse. I’m not. I’m exhausted. I’m not sleeping. My eczema is springing up like crazy. I’m getting pimples – and that’s ridiculous. I didn’t even have them in puberty. Why now for crying out loud? I’m cranky and nervous and I’m driving my family insane. Even the Rotten Cats are kind of staying away…
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So, yeah. Finding the thankful this week was not at the top of my Things-I-Can’t-Wait-to-Do list this week. In fact, Christina mentioned on Facebook that she was kind of wondering how to get the TToT done when you’re really not feeling it. At that moment, I thought my list was going to be one of Clark’s hypo-gratitude type posts. I think most of us have been there at least once. Right?
Well I’m kind of there again.
But at some point on Saturday morning it occurred to me that even though I’m really having a tough time seeing what’s going well right now, there is a lot of good in my life. It comes in the form of the people I have around me.
For example…
Kidzilla. This little girl is just simply the light of my life. In a million years I never could have imagined thinking or feeling that way. But she is. I am thankful in particular this week for how happy she is to see me whether I’ve been away from her for an hour or for the entire day. It doesn’t matter how lousy I feel, when she gets excited to be with me, none of the rest matters for a while. And I love the things we do and share together – all of them. Saturday morning she decided to tell me about a breakfast recipe she saw when she was watching Disney, Jr. We looked it up and that was brunch. Good call, Zilla!
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The Hub. This man drives me insane. And I don’t think I’d have it any other way. (Also, I’m fully aware that I drive him completely insane as well. Fair’s fair.) But what I’m thankful for is his unwavering support of me and my goals. From several years ago when I busted my butt for my masters degree to right now when we are up against a critical tipping point with my not-very-stable-at-all self-employment, he doesn’t stop believing that what I want to do is important and will somehow turn out right. I wish I believed as well as he does some days.
Super Sister. I can always count on my Sister for sympathy and commiseration, whether we’re talking about RA symptoms, sinus congestion, or pants size. If life hands me a pile of shit, she’s willing to play in the dirt with me for a while and figure out how to make mud pies. Or something like that. And in the process, she will find a way to insert her particular brand of humor and get me to stop feeling like life is the worst it could possibly be. Because, of course, it’s not. I just forget that. I sometimes wonder who’s the big sister. She’s smart.
My Mom. As much as telling the truth about some things might feel terrifying, I know I can always talk to my Mom. She will always be honest with me and will always jump into her pragmatic problem-solving mode when the need arises. I’m not terribly pragmatic. I’m not good at problem-solving – at least not until I freak out for a few days before I figure out how to put my head on straight and do something useful. I am very glad she is here for me. Very.
Beth. I honestly don’t remember how it started, but I had a nice long chat with this lovely lady this week and it was a tremendous kick in the pants for me. I’ve been tremendously frustrated with my writing lately – mostly that I know I have things I want to write not only for her, but for other outlets and formats as well. But I don’t do it. The fear and insecurity is overwhelming some days – most days lately – and burying my head in the sand and giving up is just so much easier than fighting through that. Beth had some very encouraging things to say and I truly don’t believe she is one to blow smoke up people’s butts. I think she’s probably about as genuine as they come, from what I can tell, and I am grateful for both the talk and the article she pointed me to later that day. So I’m writing.
Lizzi. A long time ago I thought Lizzi didn’t like me. I wish I could tell you why. But I have had some very wonderful talks with this lady (one of them just yesterday) and I love that she is brutally honest with me and somehow knows me well enough to call bullshit when she sees it. I need people like that in my life. Another person who I don’t believe blows smoke up people’s arses (Brit version), Lizzi is very willing to play it straight and say quit the harmful talk and get to it. I’m sensing a theme here with these people this week..
Kristi. I am so grateful for this lady. She’s a great one for a shoulder to cry on and another straight shooter. Kristi tossed a lead to some freelance work my way which was not only helpful in the most literal of ways, but that work gave me a nice boost of confidence and some potentially good ideas. Talking with Kristi on the screen is like getting a big fat hug – and I just have a feeling that her in real hugs are awesome. One of these days I need to get one.
Ivy. You know that person who always says “I never win anything?” I am that person. BUT. This week, I got a text from my lovely friend Ivy telling me I am the winner of her latest contest! How cool is that? But more than that, Ivy inspires me. Always. In all ways. I find a wisdom in her that is comforting. I wish I could explain why, but there are times we talk that she reminds me of my Grandfather – wise, funny, strong, gentle, completely down to earth. She’s good people and I’m happy she’s one of mine.
Sarah. This is the person I think probably gets me more than most people do. Perhaps we are simply kindred spirits. I wish I could remember how we first connected, but I do remember that it felt instant. We have areas about our lives that are similar and I think it’s easy to chat about them, obviously. Sarah assures me – without even saying it – that some of the changes I’ve made in my life are absolutely signs of growth and not regression. She feels like that friend you can go without talking to for far too long and then pick up from the last conversation. But oh how I wish we lived closer and could just do that by walking across the street or something. How fun would that be? She has no idea she did it, I’m sure, but this week she prompted such a boost of confidence and motivation with just a simple sentence in an e-mail. I credit my forthcoming #BeReal post in great part to her.
I know there are a whole bunch of other people who should be on here for other reasons, but these people are the ones who each struck a very particular heartstring in my life this week. These are my people and I’m very grateful for them. The BoSR/SBoR section 42 allows me to cover anyone and everyone who deserves a spot here and call them included. And I think it’s 3.1 that allows me to be finished simply by calling this the last item on the list.
And so I’m out. I leave you with a beautiful fall sunset to end the day. If there is one thing we get up here on Witch Mountain, it is great views of the evening sky. Apparently we missed a very cool meteor shower the other night…not sure how that escaped my notice…but this was a gorgeous show, too.
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Your turn: What are you thankful for this week? Who are the important people in your life?How do they help hold you up? Do you ever wonder why it is so impossible to truly capture the beauty of the sky on film?
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You are so sweet… high praise indeed! I am so flattered to be in such capable and auspicious company as this and your grandad… amazing… and guess what? TURNS OUT YOURE A WINNER IN A LOT OF WAYS!!!!!! I packed up your prize yesteday… with the holiday and a one room post office in the podunk town in which I live it will be in the mail by Wed…. xo me and the Dougster… he says lick the cats for him!
Thank you, Ivy. I’ve already had a crying jag this morning and I woke up later than I intended for church so things are not quite rosy here today. I will tell the Rottens that Doug sends his love, but I generally try to avoid licking them. 😀
I hope things get better with you, Lisa. The people in our lives are who/what sustain us during the less than stellar times (translate shit times). You have some great ones. I was thinking about that sandwich and if that would be in your list. It sounds like it could be brunch AND dinner. I especially love the description of your sister – making mud pies.
Thanks, Val. I hope so, too. Haven’t made the sandwich yet, but we do have the ingredients on hand. Turns out we’ve made that before! I guess I just didn’t know that’s what it was called. Thanks for the research! And you get a thankful today, too – you are always a very loyal reader and commenter and I do appreciate that.
I’m grateful for sunny skies today as Grace’s team chases a championship. Either way, it’s a beautiful day. Know who I’m thankful for today? Me. That sounds strange, but yes. The version of me today can do it on his own. Maybe he can return the favor to those who’ve helped him as he’s stumbled through life lately.
We can’t often capture the beauty of the sky because it’s just too beautiful for our devices. And it shows us how incredible sight in of itself really is.
That’s a beautiful list, Eli. And you know, you probably should have a spot on my list for this week, too. You always have an encouraging word and that’s a great thing. Good lukc to Grace’s team today!
‘Witch Mountain’?!!? No. Way. (that totally is one of the coolest names-of-places-to-be-from*)
Nice work illustrating the intrinsic value and benefit of the TToT. (hypo-gratitudinal items notwithstanding)… the effort of reflection that yields the positive side of things is not just to the writer (of the Post) but to the Readers, as well.
Thanks
*right up there with Hell Hollow Rd, Voluntown CT
Well, not actually Witch Mountain or even the Witch Mountain, Clark. But that’s what we call it because we are so exposed up here on top of this little hill and our weather is just a bit more wild because of it. It’s kind of creepy and kind of cool.
Thanks for the positive words – and you really should have a spot in the list, too. Your morning pings for weigh-in on the Gravity Challenge are a bright spot and no matter the numbers we all post, you are always encouraging and keep your eye on the process, not the result. It’s a good way to be.
The people in our lives really do make a difference and it sounds like you’re surrounded by ones who make a positive difference in your life.
Definitely am, Vanessa. Definitely am.
I love your list. I love your honesty. And while I don’t love that you thought I might not like you, I’m glad we’re WAY past that now, and I’m honoured to feature on your list amongst such incredible people. And I’m glad that our brutally honest chat was something useful to you rather than something which made things worse.
I hope the rottens soon come back to their usual closeness to you, and YAY for such wonderful family and friends surrounding you with their care. I especially love the bit about your sister making mud pies with you. I get that.
So..Beth – totally and completely as wonderful as you say, and absolutely genuine. Kristi – utterly, utterly awesome, and I can vouch for her hugs being incredible. Ivy – profoundly wonderful and a huge source of inspiration to me, too. Sarah – such a firecracker in Real, and I LOVE that you and she get on so well. You have to meet her.
Chin up and hang on in there. We’re all rooting for you 🙂
Thanks. And I’m always happy for brutal honesty. Yes, we’re definitely past that and it can be a thing to laugh about a bit. There are good people out here in the ‘sphere for sure. In a million years I never would have imagined interacting and connecting this way – all your fault, too, may I add?
I am just so mad that I could not be at that NJ gathering – argh! That needs to happen again when circumstances here make it possible for me to go. Damn damn damn!
I know you all are. And it is a huge help. Keep the goodness coming, please!
Oh, I am ALL up for NJ happening again. For sure 😀
Glad you’re interacting and joining in how you do now. Happy to take responsibility for that one 😉
Oh my heavens, you’re gonna make me CRY!!!!!
And you are so beautifully supportive of me, and your honesty with me about daily life struggles MEANS SO MUCH because I feel SO MUCH LESS ALONE!!!!! And that someone understands and makes mistakes and maybe I’m not terrible because I make them just as much (if not more).
Oh, how I wish we lived across the street from one another.
That is precisely how I feel – always a comfort to know you get the stuff that happens here and vice versa.
If we lived across the street, I would call you up and say “You HAVE to come over here and taste this thing I just made. I’m bringing some over.”
Or maybe something like “It’s been THAT kind of day. Come over. Bring beer.” Probably a lot of that. 😀
What a nice list! Christina inspired me this week as well. It’s not always easy to come up with any semblance of a list some weeks, but it is necessary to recognize that even in the worst of times, there’s always something for which to be thankful.
Congratulations on your contest win!
I am working hard at finding the good right now.
I never win stuff – I was SO excited! 🙂
I love it that you made the breakfast that Zilla saw on TV. Having a hub that believes in you even when you are doubting is wonderful. I’m glad you have him in your life. I don’t have a sister in my family, but there are many women I consider as my sisters. I’m glad you have your Mom to talk to also. My conversations with my Mom are very in the moment now, because of her advanced Alzheimer’s. I hope you have a wonderful week.
Zilla is so fun to have around, Pat, and I just love how she believed I can duplicate the things she sees! Hopefully, I don’t disappoint. I’m glad for all of these people – and more – in my life. I am sorry to hear of your Mom’s Alzheimer’s – that must be tough. I hope you are blessed with beautiful in-the-moment talks. Love and prayers to all of your family.
Aw Lisa. I’m so sorry things are confusing and scary and overall craptastic right now. I do completely believe that they will get better for you though. Truly. Hang in there and I’d love to hug you – online or in Real – anytime. We have to make a meet-up happen. We must. Thank you thank you for including me in this list of lovely wonderful amazing people! I’m glad I was able to be there for you and hope you know how much your friendship means to me. Hang in there, Sweetie. You’re going to see the other side of all of this. I believe that. xoxo
All of that right back at you! The first thing I want when we meet in real is a hug – I’ve been told yours are legendary. I do believe that there is a resolution and that it will be a good one. Sometimes things don’t work out quite the way we thought because they’re not supposed to, because there’s something better for us. I do hope and pray that this is one of those times.
I’m herereerererere! finally – gah. And yay for friends that pull us through, support, nudge, carry, cheer, listen, and love. A lot of the time, that’s all that gets us through, right? I know that’s been the case with me so many times in my life!
I spoke the truth during our convo and I always will. You’re right – I don’t blow sunshine up asses. I truly believe in your writing talent, and I KNOW you will believe in yourself and write. Just remember, you’re allowed to suck. Write a pile of shit. That’s what I’m doing right now with my current WIP; it’s utter shit.
but,
that shit is compost for the garden of awesome on the way!
MWA xoxoxo
Again, thanks. It’s interesting that you used the comparison of compost for the garden of awesome because I’ve actually been working on a thing using the garden idea. Great minds, right?
I’ve looked seriously into getting the kids books going. I may actually push this out very soon. You know I’ll be asking you to read it…
XO
SEE? That’s a sign you’re moving in the right direction! Can’t wait to read your drafts and help you in any way I can! I’ve been chewing on a kids’ book idea also, so you lead the way and when I’m ready, I’ll follow your lead. 🙂
Pfft…don’t follow me…I’m wandering around without a map! 😀 I was going to pick YOUR brain about how to get the thing published. But I did learn some stuff over the weekend. I think. I have ideas…
I know nothing about the children’s book industry. I’m assuming you need an illustrator and then you have to pitch it to agents? Or are you self-pubbing it? Children’s books are an entirely different animal, I think. It’ll be a big learning curve for me, too. That’s why I think you should go first. hahaha
Nice. Throw ME to the wolves, why don’t you. That would be my guess, I guess. I’m definitely stuck on the illustration angle – whole other conversation. And I am thinking of self-pub, call me crazy. We’ll talk. Maybe even soon.
This is the work of it, isn’t it. On those glorious weeks gratitude blooms, then it seems to shrivel in the dark days. I love your list of people…my first instinct was to compare. Why don’t I have a sister to put on my list…but I took a breathe and read about your appreciation and will get going on mine.
Gratitude is definitely harder to express in times of trouble, Anna. I absolutely agree. And you know, I often find myself doing that comparison thing. But why do we do that to ourselves? I just read your “posts I don’t hate” page on your blog – I love it! That’s precisely the kind of thing I’d say about my own stuff. 😀
Love this list of the people most important to you.
🙂
Glad you have so many people to help lift you up and support you and that you do the same for them, I am sure.
I try, Kerry, and I hope that I do.