A Message
I had an overwhelming experience today.
I’ve been beyond frustrated lately. Frustrated and angry and upset, really, because I just want this long period of … argh … to come to an end. Or if not an end, then just a pathway toward an end. That’s all. My funk is so thick right now that I find it difficult to concentrate on, well, just about anything. My mind is clouded.
I went to Mass today, Ascension Thursday, and no matter how hard I tried, I could not concentrate. I could not stay focused on prayer. Too much swirled through my mind. I turned my thoughts to my Grandfather and talked to him – OK maybe I yelled at him. Why can’t we catch a break? When is my Husband going to get a bite on a job? Do you think you could just DO something? I asked how hard it would be to just get a little encouragement somewhere so I don’t feel like we are flailing around waiting for some clue about where it is that life will take us next. Come ON already, I thought. Could you just give me something here?
Not two minutes later, the words of the meditation hymn hit me like a ton of bricks. It was a song completely new to me – I had never heard it before. It was as though my Grandfather had answered me as sure as if he were standing there next to me. Did I feel better for the rest of the day? No, not really. In fact, I think I felt worse for a while. I spent much of the day fighting back tears and the rest actually giving in to them. I try to be pretty tough in the fact of this rugged stretch of road we’re travelling. I really do. Most days, I do OK. Others I am weak. Very weak. So maybe I needed this today. I’ll take it. I’m choosing to believe that it was meant for me.
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Did I miss it? What were the words? I am sorry about your funk and sorry that everything is feeling so stagnant. Thinking of you.
In the video…
Huge siiiiiigh here. So exhausting dealing with all of this. Rough rough week. Thanks for thinking of me. 🙂
Hang in there! You have made it this far. Sending you hugs and positive thoughts, my friend.
Thank you, Heather. We are hanging…
I’m praying for you and your husband. I’ve never heard that song before, either. It’s beautiful. And true. This bad stretch will come to an end someday. Praying it is sooner rather than later.
Thank you, Christine. I pray a whole lot. A whole lot. Some days it is much more difficult to believe it, that things will work but I continue to believe that this too shall pass and that the dark will be well worth the light at the end. Sooner rather than later would be nice. Two years is long enough!
May the dark cloud be lifted off of you soon. With so much going on, it’s no wonder that you couldn’t concentrate. I’m glad you were able to find something to help you clear your mind, at least momentarily.
Yeah, I’ve definitely been struggling in the focus department. Hoping some nice long days of summer vacation will cure that!
Hang in there, friend. I’m sorry you’ve had such a rough go of it – you so deserve a break. I love that your Grandfather spoke to you through song though. I hope there’s eventual comfort in that. xo
It was a pretty overwhelming and surreal moment. And it has brought some comfort, yes.
This just blew me away, because the song you shared holds the same answer that I just posted in reply to your comment on my “The Message” post… be still, listen for the voice of God!” Not only that, but this is exactly the message that my younger sister is needing right now in her life too, so I was able to share the link to this beautiful song with her. God works like that… blessings add to blessings and are spread out wide to others like a blanket of love!
I think it’s pretty normal to be frustrated, anxious, angry, and in tears when dealing with life situations which seem so insurmountable at times, and yes, unfair. One thing I’ve learned in sixty years is that life isn’t fair, and no one promised us it would be. That doesn’t mean I like that one little bit! 🙂 But God has promised that He will be with us to see us through each day, and that’s a promise I believe and stand on because it’s been true in my life. You know what else I’ve learned? It’s ok to scream and yell a little bit, God can take it, He understands our anquish, and he’s patiently waiting to dry our tears. God answers desperate prayers, and I believe that your answer will come. XOXO, Josie
Thank you for this. It’s exactly what I’ve been thinking about lately. So glad you can share the link with your sister – that is awesome. You never know where the ripples stop, do you? 🙂
I just jotted off a comment to you teasing you about how glamorous it sounds to hear you say your husband’s new CD is out. But it sounds like it has been truly stressful there lately. So, I promise not to be flippant this time.
I do believe God answers our prayers in just this kind of way–the perfect song at the perfect moment. And did you see the verse at the end of the video? Words of encouragement. I pray you will find relief soon. It has been such a long haul and you truly have borne it well.
May, you go right ahead and tease away. If we can’t laugh at ourselves, we have big trouble in life. Stressful is a word, yes…but I never took that as flip. No worries.
I firmly believe that God speaks to us in those ways – sometimes subtle, sometimes not. I actually think I missed the words at the end so I’m going to look now. Thank you for the prayers. We can use them. As for bearing the challenge well…I’m not so sure. I try. I really do. But I have meltdown days and the occasional tantrum, too. Eh, maybe it’s all part of it.