I am not where I imagined I would be at this point in my life. When this topic came up at dinner a while ago, my husband asked me to promise I would not host a self-pity party. I told him I would do no such thing because some lies just cannot be told. Even as…Continue Reading “All The Things I Tell Myself”
I’m visiting over at Hasty Words today to talk about what I think it means to #BeReal. And about a good pair of jeans.
Continue Reading "#BeReal – LISA LISTWA | hastywords"
Not too long ago, a friend told me I was brave.
I think the word she said was brave… she admired my chutzpah in posting my whole and actual weight in a group setting focused on lessening our overall gravitational pull.
The compliment did not set well with me. What she couldn’t have known is that mere seconds before I saw her message, I clicked off my own desperate and panicked message to the group moderator asking him to please and immediately pull the image of my whole and actual weight…
Let me tell you something about self-love:
Self-love is very difficult to practice when you’re feeling down on yourself.
It should come as no surprise that I’ve opted for the self-compassion route again this #1000Speak link-up – that’s been my focus all along. Of course, it’s been a couple of months since I’ve actually contributed an original post… I’ve been very busy letting life get in the way and finding excuses not to post and link-up…
It won’t be good enough…
I have nothing valuable to say…
I can’t write about what I’m not doing well myself…
My words don’t matter.
I’m willing to bet that you have said or thought at least one of these in your recent past. I know I have. I know many who do. But why? Why do we so readily find ways to opt out? Why do we work so hard at explaining our failures before we even make an attempt?Continue Reading "Self-Love is Hard; Self-Reproach is Easier – A #1000Speak Post"
“I suppose no man can violate his own nature.”
I would love to tell you those words are mine. I would love to tell you they fell from my consciousness onto the page and I breathed the wisdom of a lifetime into them.
I didn’t. They belong to the only mind they can, Ralph Waldo Emerson, and they are from my most beloved favorite of his essays, “Self-Reliance.”
It should be no surprise to you, dear reader, if my thoughts here are again on the topic of self-compassion. I have focused each month on a different aspect of self-compassion. For all forms of love and compassion spring only from love of self and compassion for the self.
This month the individual voices of the 1000 Voices Speak for Compassion group are talking and writing about compassion as it relates to connection and reconciliation.
I knew immediately what I would write when this topic was announced. I would write about reconciling the person you believed you would be with the person you actually are today. Yes, of course, because that’s precisely what I have been doing personally.Continue Reading "1000 Speak – Reconciliation of the Self"
1000 Voices Speak for Compassion is coming again!
I’m a bit behind in revealing my topic for the May link-up, but I’ve been working on so many things the date kind of escaped me.
But here we are, a mere four days away, so now is as good a time as any.
Our theme for this month is Connection – including re-connection and reconciliation. Our admin team has collected a list of topic prompts over on the 1000 Voices for Compassion blog – I’ll give you the link to that post right here. If you don’t already have your topic solidified, hop over and check out some of the ideas and suggestions on the blog.Continue Reading "Connecting with Compassion – 1000 Voices Speak for Compassion"
No one wants to be called selfish.
We want people to say that we are generous and other-centered. We want people to call us kind and compassionate. We want to actually be all of these things. We are taught that it is good to be selfless.
But we misinterpret that.
Look at the word – selfless. Look it up. You’ll find the definition “not selfish.” But this definition also appears: “concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than with one’s own.”
Wait, you say. That’s a good thing. The needs and wishes of others should come before our own. That makes us a good person. As far back as the Puritans, the quality of selflessness and a spirit of compassion is touted as something good, even sublime. Contemporary figures like Mother Teresa of Calcutta remind us that this is still a good and right way to live.
But somewhere along the way, we allowed ourselves to think that our own needs don’t matter, that being selfless means that we are less important than the rest of the world. And that leads to troublesome thinking. Nurturing others to the point of neglecting ourselves serves no one.
~~~~~Continue Reading "1000Speak – Nurturing the Self"
The members of 1000 Voices Speak for Compassion are gearing up for another campaign!
This month, 1000 Voices Speak for Compassion is talking about nurturing. On April 20th, we will link up once again to flood the Internet with good and positive posts about nurturing.
For my April post, I will talk about nurturing the Self. I’m sticking with the theme of self-compassion that I started with the initial campaign. It has become clear to me from reading other posts on compassion and reading the conversations in the comment sections that the concept of self-compassion is one many of us need to prioritize.Continue Reading "1000 Voices Speak for Compassion AGAIN in April"
I do not make it a habit to use this space for rants and complaints.
I am not suggesting that I never talk about things that bother me. Of course I do. But today I’m feeling a bit lousy and I just want to say so.
I feel lousy.Continue Reading "An Acuteness Of The Senses"
I have no proudest moment to share with you.
I am terrible with superlatives. Favorite? Best? Proudest? Worst? I am always struck dumb when asked to name only one. After thinking about this for days, I find myself reaching the same conclusion once again.
I can not name any one proudest moment.Continue Reading "FTSF – I Have No Proudest Moment"
It was a conversation with my daughter that helped me finally decide.
We were talking about a disagreement between her and a classmate. Both parties were upset; neither understood the other’s point of view. As we talked at dinner that night, my daughter began to understand not only what might have caused the other person to act as they did, but also what caused her to react as she did.
We’ve talked with our daughter about bullying and meanness. We want her to understand how to speak up if she or someone else is being mistreated. But we also want her to understand how important it is not to mistreat someone else. The ability to understand what a person might be feeling that would cause them to be mean is an important skill.
It’s not a new idea. In the novel To Kill a Mockingbird, Atticus Finch tells his daughter Scout, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.” It’s good advice.Continue Reading "#1000 Speak: Step Into Someone Else’s Skin"