A Perfect Fourth

When I first wake up, before I hit an upright position, I only open one eye.  I’m not sure why, but it happens every morning without fail.  It could be physiological.  It could be because I live with a Kidzilla and Three Rotten Cats.  Perhaps my subconscious brain intuitively knows that under such circumstances, keeping one eye open is a smart idea.  Maybe my mother was right and moms really do sleep with one eye open all the time and the darn thing never closed in the first place!

Whatever the reason, it proved to be the source of confusion yesterday when the first thing my single eyeball detected was an alligator.

I think I did a double-take (if you can do that with one eye).  And I definitely had to let my brain try to process that…alligator.  On nightstand.  Suddenly, I have vivid flashbacks to one of the worst bad dreams I ever had as a kid. (It involved an alligator, me, and a snack…see where this is going?)  AAACCK!!!  Still not upright or fully awake, I think, “OK, if I open the other eye, either it will not be there or it will be real.  Ready, go.

Two eyes open…yup, real.  Kidzilla’s stuffed alligator, Chompy.

(And yes, he was exactly that blurry.)  I don’t care if his name is as non-threatening as Chompy – an alligator is an alligator.  I realize that Kidzilla is at the foot of our bed, surrounded by an entourage of stuffed friends, watching a DVD with He The Daddy.  Chompy, however, is staring at me.  Still keeping one eyeball on Chompy, I say, “Zilla…?”

Z: “Yes, Mom?”

Me: “Is there a reason I am staring at an alligator?”

Z: “Yes.”

Silence.

Me: “Can I know what it is, please?”

Z: “Because he’s your favorite.”

OK.  Glad we got that cleared up.  This is how my Fourth of July holiday began.

Moments later, the phone rang.  It was my mom.  I considered asking her about the sleeping with one eye open thing, but decided against it.  Flashback: Shortly after Zilla was born, I was tired.  Like really tired.  Ohmygod-nobody-told-me-having-a-kid-made-you-this-tired-I-will-never-get-enough-sleep-again-tired.  Sobbing, I asked my mom when the mommy gets a nap.  Totally serious, she said, “Let me think…you were born thirty-how-many years ago, so the last nap I had was…”

Forget it.

Today, however, Super Mom is on the way for a visit and she’s bringing hot coffee.  Woo-hoo!  That totally made up for the alligator thing.  Pretty sure she saved me from the alligator in the dream, too.  My mom is awesome.

Proceed with plans for A Perfect Fourth.  Fast forward…visit with Super Mom, hang out at home with He and Zilla, a little holiday sale clearance shopping, and it’s Fourth of July dinner time!  He grilled up some burgers, and Zilla and I assembled some holiday pasta salad.  Nothing remarkable – cherry tomatoes, baby cucumbers, carrots, cauliflower, homemade ranch dressing – but how fun are these noodles?

Somehow, dinner ended up happening late.  Twenty minutes until fireworks start.  My plans for A Perfect Fourth foiled!  I am now frantic as I attempt to figure out how we’re going to finish in time for the fireworks, which Zilla is primed for.  (She has dressed herself in full princess costume for the occasion.)  This is NOT how this is supposed to work.  What would Super Mom do?

As if her superhuman powers sensed my distress, the answer comes to me: open the blinds and watch them through the window while we eat.  (Duh…)  We live at the edge of an open field at the top of a small mountain big hill.  On fireworks-appropriate holidays, we can see several sets of displays in the not-too-far-off distance.  It’s perfect: guaranteed seats, no parking or crowds to deal with, and we can watch in our pajamas.  Per-fect.

We then proceeded to have ourselves an elegant little indoor picnic, complete with a patriotic centerpiece, candlelight to make viewing the fireworks through the glass easier, and a brief napkin fire.  Not bad for a day that started off with an alligator attack.

After Kidzilla went to bed, I texted Super Mom to debrief (minus the part about the napkin fire).  Her reply came back:

Super Mom: 🙂 Cool.

Me: Best Fourth party ever.

Super Mom: …which she will remember when she is a very old woman.

I hope so.  I know I will.