Choose Happiness – A #1000Speak Post
What makes you happy?
No, it’s not a trick question. I’m serious. Sit down. Close your eyes and think about it for a few minutes.
Now, answer the question: What makes you happy?
The answer, of course, will differ for everyone. The things, experiences, even people that bring us joy are as varied as we are. Maybe you said your family or friends make you happy. Maybe it’s seeing your grandchildren’s faces on the computer screen when you Skype with them. Maybe you said ice cream makes you happy or a walk on the beach or shopping or your dog. Maybe you said that kindness and compassion make you happy. Maybe it’s the smell of cookies baking or your Grandmother’s pot roast on a Sunday afternoon.
No matter what your answer, it’s a good one.
Let’s keep going. I’m out on a limb here, but my suspicion is that you – like most people – listed outside sources for your happiness. Am I right? But did you think of anything within yourself or anything about yourself that makes you happy?
My Grandfather was a very wise man. He often told us that people are only about as happy as they allow themselves to be. I don’t think the sentiment was entirely his – the idea is often attributed to Abraham Lincoln, but I’m pretty sure that’s not entirely accurate, either. The source is irrelevant. What matters is the philosophy behind it – the idea that we control our own happiness.
If you’ve been reading here since we started the 1000 Voices Speak for Compassion movement over a year ago, you know that my focus rests mainly in the idea of self-compassion. My thoughts for you this month are no different; rather than looking outside yourself for happiness, find it within. Treat yourself with the kindness and compassion you deserve and choose happiness for yourself.
Acknowledge your gifts, your strengths, you abilities. Embrace your struggles and your weaknesses and find acceptance in the lessons you have learned from them. You decide to what degree the stuff of life will affect you and how it will affect you. You can choose to be unhappy, or you can choose to be happy.
I’ve spent enough of my days being unhappy. For various reasons, at various points in my life, I have experienced unhappiness. Some of it is natural, like the death of a loved one; some of it is very unnatural, like having a car accident or losing a job. But no matter what circumstance life hands us, we ultimately have to choose what to do with it. We can choose to be unhappy, or we can choose to be happy.
Some people are going to argue with me. That’s OK. They argued with my Grandfather, too. Some things are just objectively awful, you say? There is no positive to be found? Perhaps you’re right. I suppose that judgment is ultimately up to us as individuals as well. My tragedy and yours are not the same; my joy and yours are not the same. It is certainly not easy to choose happiness when sadness seems so readily available. Being miserable is so much easier, isn’t it?
I realize I am at dangerous risk of sounding like a Pollyanna (and if you know me even a little bit, you know that is absolutely not me at all), but I have found that it is possible to choose the positive approach. It is possible to see the best possible angle of any situation. There are practices and habits we can develop to enable us to see that happiness.
[tweetthis]What makes you happy? [/tweetthis]
But at the very least, let’s remember why we are all here – at least on this day each month and at least today. We are here to focus on the good and the positive. Compassion. Happiness. Love. And as I say to myself and to you over and over again – compassion and happiness begins with self love and compassion.
It’s out there. I promise you. But no one is going to hand you a pile of happiness. You have to do it for yourself. Sure, it’s hard. Most things of true value require at least a little effort – and more likely a lot of effort. But is your personal happiness – true happiness from within – worth it?
Of course it is. And so I offer you the challenge of finding happiness that comes from within your Self. Go ahead and think about it for a while. Take all the time your need, but do it. And see how much brighter the world looks when you see it from the perspective of a happiness that comes from you.
I dare you. Choose happiness.
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This month, 1000 Voices Speak for Compassion continues to work toward a better world with a focus on Compassion and Happiness. And, our monthly link-up date aligns perfectly with International Day of Happiness. How perfect!
Write your relevant post and add it to the link-up right here by clicking the blue button below.
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26 Comments
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AMEN, Lisa. Thank you for this reminder. I CHOOSE to be happy. Nothing outside of me will be consistent, so I must decide to find it in myself…
Over and over again. 🙂 Some days are easier than others. (I know you get that. )
Wow, Chris! I posted this only minutes ago and here you are! Guess we were meant to connect just then.
And yes, some days are way easier than others. I absolutely get it. But where would we be if we couldn’t find a way to slog through the rough patches?
I see your point, your grandfather’s point, and that of Abe’s point too.
🙂
Wise men. Wise woman.
I look at the choice as a fork in the road. I decide which way to go.
Colours make me happy. I see them in my mind’s eye.
Music makes me happy, as I chose to write about for my post this month.
I am happy with myself this week in particular because I did something I always thought I couldn’t do.
🙂
I wrote the lyrics to a song.
My niece and nephews make me happy. I plan to see them all this week for a good dose of pure joy and happiness.
Hope you have a week full of happinesses Lisa.
I knew some of these things already from your post on Kristi’s link-up, Kerry – they made me happy to read. 🙂
You’ve clearly taken on your grandfather’s wisdom and your advice is perfect. It’s true that it is sometimes easier to stay stuck in your misery, promising you will be happy when….It’s also true that you can choose to be happy now, regardless of what is going on around you. Happiness is all about attitude and how you decide to see things. All the things you mentioned make me happy – my grandchildren’s faces, ice cream (wine and chocolate are good too), a walk on the beach, my dog. Sometimes when I’m exercising I’m not so happy but then I think how good it is that I CAN exercise and this makes me very happy. It’s all how you look at it. If I look within I see a strong, trustworthy, loving woman – and that makes me happy.
See, you’ve got it! Maybe the exercise is not so fun, but realizing you have the ability – that’s the key! And that speaks loudly to me because with my arthritis I sometimes have days where movement is difficult. So on the days I can move, I’m especially grateful. It all comes down to what you said – attitude. Brings to mind Charles Swindoll’s thoughts on attitude, which I keep pinned to my bulletin board. “…life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.” I love that you can see the woman inside you – hooray!
Hi Lisa,
I’ve been part of 1000 Voices for Compassion since the first blog share just over a year ago and I am intrigued about what people will write every month and how we’ll respond to the theme. Will there be a smattering of views or will we all somehow hear the same voice and show that a message is really wanting to get out there?
With this in mind, I set out on my journey to read this month’s posts, starting with your next to mine and I was immediately struck by the similarity of their message. That it’s not what happens to us but how we respond.
I had a neuropsychological assessment last week and had a good chat with the doctor about my recovery. I had put much of my progress down to rebuilding the neuro-pathways but he mentioned that it doesn’t work for everyone and they don’t know why. Attitude seemed to play a part. I can’t say my attitude was always good but I am a fighter and I went through rehab and had really good encouragement and skilled detailed assistance. It’s interesting and important to know how all these things come together so we can give people from all walks of life a better chance of recovery and healing xx Rowena
I’m always fascinated by similarities in the posts, Rowena. So interesting to see what people have to say. And of course sometimes the responses are vastly different which always offers food for thought.
I wish you the best with your recovery. Keep on fighting!
I write about this a lot in my blog because it’s a lesson I’ve been very slow to learn. I think I based my happiness on other people and my life situation all my life until recently. I have finally begun to wake up to the fact that we are responsible for our own happiness and although it can be impacted by external factors, it shouldn’t be wholly based on them. Great post and thanks for being on the same page 🙂
Love that we’re on the same page! It makes a great deal of difference when we take responsibility for making and choosing our own happiness rather than passively waiting for it to happen to us.
I had always been waiting for happiness to come my way. It took me many years to realize that it was a choice. Now I know that I’m responsible for my own happiness and no one can take it away from me.
You make a great point, Corinne. If we own our happiness, if we don’t depend on others for it, no one can take it. I love that.
No matter what your answer its a good one…so precise…so perfect.
It’s true. We all respond to different things.
Happiness IS a choice and I agree, it is purely within ourselves. Each day we have to decide to be happy, you are right no one is going to come and hand deliver it to us!
It’s so easy to look at other people and wonder why they seem so happy. I truly think it’s because they actually want to be happy and so they decide to be. Even tougher is when you see someone who clearly has struggles in life and they seem very content and happy – why aren’t they miserable? Because they don’t want to be. I’d rather go grab the happy.
It’s a choice you have to make every single day…
Absolutely, Liv. And sometimes every hour…
LOVE this! I completely agree with you (and your grandfather) that happiness is a choice. It took a lot of emotional/psychological work to get to this place, but it’s so empowering to realize that happiness–and the peace of mind, equanimity and positivity that come with it–are MY responsibility.
Empowering is a great word, Roxanne. We can choose to let life happen to us or we can choose to make life happen. When you think about it that way, the choice seems kind of obvious. Not an easy one, but at least the message is clear.
Nobody’s going to hand me over a pile of happiness! That made me smile this morning. Darn!! Oh, goodness, I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I think balance in my mind and heart is what makes me happy, but I’m having the darndest time finding it at this stage of my life. I love you message her today, and all the smiley faces cheered me up! 🙂
It would be nice if we could get our allotment of happiness that easily, wouldn’t it Julie? 🙂 Balance is a tough one for many people. I know I’d like to live a more balanced life, but struggle to figure out what to give, what to take in order to make that happen. It’s a learning process. I liked the smiley faces, too – especially the one yellow guy in the midst of the blue.
“We are here to focus on the good and the positive.” Exactly! Hard things are going to happen in all of our lives, some days are definitely better than others, but it’s up to us how we let such times affect us, we can be consumed by it, or we can work through it and move on. We are truly our happiest when we are focused on our blessings and all the good things in life. The rest are just bumps in the road! 🙂
I think that’s the difference, Josie. When we do truly focus on the good, rather than the bad, when those tough times come they do seem much more like bumps than major roadblocks. It’s far too easy to focus on the negative. But accepting the challenge and the mindset to focus on the positive significantly affects our perspective.
So easy, so hard, yet. It can’t be, from my perspective, a one-time choice. I feel like I have to choose over and over, every day, even, maybe more often. Your posts help keep me positive.
That makes me really happy to know, Eli. I think we all have to choose over and over – the important thing is that we keep doing it. Stay positive, my friend!