Focus on Trying to Get It Together
Ever feel like you just can’t quite pull yourself together?
I’m having a big spell of that right now. Ever since going down with the stomach virus after Thanksgiving, I just can’t seem to get myself back in a groove. Anywhere. Work, home, writing, chores – you name it, I’m feeling out of it.
As I was whining for about the tenth time this week about how much this is bothering me and how much I feel like I still need to accomplish, the Fab Hub said “why not focus on what you have accomplished and not how much you still think you have to do?”
Duh. He’s right, of course. Again.
And so in that spirit, let me say this.
Today was a snow day. And so we all allowed ourselves a little bit of sleep-in time. We spent the morning in relaxing mode. After lunch, we tackled a few chores. The dishes are done, the Halloween and Thanksgiving decorations have made their way to the storage closet and some Christmas things found their way out. We will continue to bring out the Christmas items a little bit each day through the weekend when we finally put up the tree. Honestly, why I ever thought decorating in one day was a good idea is beyond me. The upstairs shower stall has been scrubbed as well as the spare shower on the lower level. A handful of other small tidy-up type chores have also been taken care of today.
I’m stopping there. Running through the “still needs to be done” list will only serve to put me back in OMGI’llnevergetdone mode.
So let’s talk about focus for a second. The Fab Hub used that word in our conversation and it reminded me that I’ve been thinking about that word a lot the last week or so. That was the word I chose for my One Word 365 efforts. I’ve done a lot of thinking about focus this year. I’ve done a handful of posts, too. Have I made as much progress as I thought I would? Absolutely not.
But, like the Fab Hub said, I’m going to focus on what I have accomplished in terms of improving my focus this year.
I’ve definitely improved my focus at work. I am staying more organized and better prepared. Yay. That’s a big one. Organization and planning are key when you’re a teacher and those are areas that are huge struggles for people with ADHD (like me). So there was quite a bit to be done there. Mission accomplished. I’ve even had a few people comment on my great organizational skills. Pfffftt! Smoke and mirrors, folks. Smoke and mirrors.
I’ve improved my focus on eating and living well. I’ve worked to maintain a clear focus on making sure my family is eating healthy foods and we’ve definitely done that. As a result, the Fab Hub and Kidzilla have become more aware of making positive and healthy choices as well. Do we make less than healthy choices? Sure we do. But for the vast majority, we make solid choices that benefit our minds and bodies. I’ve also made a very conscious choice to stop focusing on weight loss and simply focus on a healthy lifestyle. Know what? I lost fifteen pounds in the process. Sometimes the key to success is hidden by the back door.
Those are probably the big benefits to my year of focus. There may be others here and there, but those are the standouts for me.
In addition, I’ve learned that my goal of improving focus was far too broad – not focused enough, if you will. By picking that word and leaving it wide open and general, it was a goal that was potentially unattainable. I do not say that to be negative – just to be truthful. Perhaps what I’ve learned throughout the course of the year is that I need to define specific areas of focus to improve upon, rather than just focus in general.
And so, with the end of the year rushing toward us, I’m choosing my word for 2014 now and then I’m going to think about it for a few weeks before coming up with my grand plan for the year.
My word for 2014 will be focus. Again. Because I’m not finished yet.
For the next few weeks, I am going to focus on crafting a strategy for refining that word into more specific and manageable goals that will continue to help me improve my focus in several areas of my life. Come back in January for the plan of attack!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love this? Share the love and tell someone!
17 Comments
Comments are closed.
Ooooh, this Word 365 sounds pretty interesting. My mind is already swirling with possiblilities, which actually leads me to what I word might be appropriate for me. You are such a teacher in how you plan out attainable goals for yourself! I say that as a compliment; I like your process. And good job focusing on the positive. We had a snow day yesterday, too, and I never got out of my pajamas. It was lovely. Also, I’d like to let you know it took me three days to vacuum our house with us having to step over the vacuum in the intervening time. And I’ve been planning on changing the sheets on my children’s beds for three days. But I did get the our sheets washed, dried, and back on.
I got on board for 2013 kind of last minute, but I definitely like the potential it holds, so I’m signing on again!
Thanks for the compliment, Sarah – I can’t tell you how good that made me feel. I did kind of a little wiggle dance in my chair. That organization and planning process is something I have always had to work hard at. I have lots of lofty goals and ideals, but I don’t always put them into motion well. The more I’ve learned about my ADHD, the way my brain works, and about myself in general, the more I’ve come to see that that structure just helps me so much. If left with no plan, I tend to just flail about my life in every odd direction accomplishing a little bit of a lot of things, but overall a lot of nothing complete.
Glad to know your projects also take a few days to get finished – hey, at least we’re working on it, right? Once upon a time that vacuum thing would have sent me into a fit of self-criticism. Now I am trying to see it as at least it’s out and part of the job is done. Mindset is everything.
And nothing feels as good as clean sheets. AAAaahhhhhhhh….. 🙂
Feeling like I lost it? Do not have everything together? On a daily basis. Sometime the only thing to do is sit back and think. Or write a very detailed to do-list… that is how I cope. By ticking of boxes on a list. I know… I’m a weird one.
I am good at lists and I don’t think they’re weird at all. They really help me keep track of things so I can let my mind let go of them. If it’s on paper and I keep said paper in a good place (we’ve started using a notebook) then I know it’s “safe” and can refer to the list when I’m ready. Over the summer, we went kind of room by room and made a list of things to do, things we’d like to replace, etc. Having a page for each room was a really great idea.
How good of your husband to be able to get you on a different mental track! Focusing on the done instead of the undone definitely will change your mindset.
I love that you are breaking your decorating into manageable bits. You might also want to consider the nuclear of option of simply wiping some items off the list all together. You could do it in the spirit of seeing which traditions really matter. If you don’t do it and don’t miss it, look at all the time you’ve saved in the future. If you do miss it, you will value it all the more when you do it next year.
He’s always been really good at that. No matter what other habits of his may drive me a little insane, he is always able to react calmly and rationally to situations like these. I, on the other hand, am very not good at it so his demeanor is a great help.
The smaller decorating tasks are definitely helping. And only choosing those which are most important is a great one. In truth, the one thing I would most like to ditch about Christmas is the shopping. Ugh. Working on how to make it a more simple, homemade style Christmas this year. Seems right, somehow.
One thing I am definitely scratching this year is baking. I don’t ever do cookies – nobody here really bothers with them anyway. But last year I went a little crazy and did homemade fruitcake. But that window has come and gone so I’m skipping that. Just really don’t want this Christmas to feel overloaded, busy, or rushed.
You know what? I always feel so frazzled during the holidays. Every year I hate the feeling, but can’t seem to overcome it. I was thinking yesterday about how in January all the new magazines, etc focus on starting fresh-for the new year, obviously-and how refreshing that feels year after year. I’m kind of just reminding myself now that in just a few weeks it will be time for that cycle of life where I get to sit down without any holiday distractions and just focus on what I want to do and be in the coming months. I think what you are doing is great. We just need to survive these next two weeks 🙂
Agreed. 🙂 Notice how many posts I have NOT put up this week…just so much to do and not really even holiday-related. The push to wrap things up at school before the break is a really tough time and we’ve had a snow day and a delayed start this week so that really cuts into the time that remains. Oh, well – it is what it is, right?
I need to take your hubby’s advice!!!
Yes, I often do, too! Must be why I keep him around. Well, that and his perfect coffee.
Wow, I need to take your husband’s advice, too… about all of it, and I need to take yours as well with the weight stuff…I am not focused on the right things there. thank you for the reminder.
Well, my Hub is pretty smart. (Just don’t tell him I said so.) As for the advice on the weight – I am no expert. I just know that trying to lose weight never works – at least not for me. Focusing more on a healthy lifestyle and overall way of eating has made a huge difference. I say if it’s working, why argue?
When you look at what you accomplished, I think it’s quite a lot. I fall into the same trap you do, focusing on my shortcomings far too much. If I say all the tasks I complete in one day, I am often shocked at what I completed. My expectations are too high and need to be balanced with reality from time to time.
Fab Hub has some good advice, I think. For all of us.
That’s the best word – balance. I tend to fall into the “all or nothing” mindset. If I can’t organize the entire home office in one sitting, I can’t do it at all. If I can’t finish cleaning the entire garage, then I won’t start the project. I have been working very hard not to think that way and to believe that accomplishing any part of a task is still progress. I took that approach with the holiday decorating and I think it made it much less daunting and stressful. I should be fun, not a chore. Zilla wanted to do EVERYTHING in one fell swoop, but we broke it up into certain things over a period of days – tree one day, stockings and bannister another, Nativity a different day – and it was so much better. I have to keep using the approach that 20 minutes of paperwork in the office is great. I am often amazed at how much can be accomplished in such a short time. So I end up motivated to do it again the next day. We are slowly but surely making huge progress on all our projects. It’s one of the great characteristics of ADHD – this whole approach to projects and how to start, keep working, and finish. In a house where we all have it, these techniques are so important.
You goal of being focused was too broad. That’s kind of funny, but something I’m familiar with. I’ve tried to tackle many things all at once and in those instances I thought I was being focused on each one. Actually my attention was being divided among them. Better to focus on a handful of things well instead of a lot of things half as good.
By the way, I hope you’re feeling better. There must be something going around because I’m sick right now too. I have a mild headache and I’m sneezing a lot. Hopefully, it will pass quickly. Get better soon.
I definitely think that was the problem – the goal was too broad and not defined specifically enough. I agree with your thoughts on do more better rather than a lot not too well. Thanks for the input!
Feeling much better. Sounds like you have the upper respiratory sadness that is going around. Take care of yourself (try my sick tea) and feel better soon!
[…] Focus on Trying to Get It Together […]