Today, I was
horrified by inspired by Kitchen Witch’s story about Shipwreck Casserole – I have never heard of such a thing. Her story immediately brought to mind some of my least favorite childhood meals. So I decided to join MamaKat’s Writing Workshop this week and play along…
The prompt: What’s for dinner Mom? Describe a meal your Mom cooked that you dreaded eating growing up.
Not a problem. In fact, I’ve got TWO. However, I cannot blame my Mom for either of these horrors. (Thanks, Mom! Seriously.)
If you’ve been here before, you already know about my archenemy, lima beans. As much as they make me cringe, there are a couple of things far worse in my memory.
Our first candidate: Creamed Chipped Beef on Toast. Yes, you may know it fondly and less politely as S*** on a Shingle. It has an interesting history…Wikipedia describes it thusly:
Chipped beef is thinly sliced or pressed salted and dried beef. Some makers smoke the dried beef for more flavor. The modern product consists of small, thin, flexible leaves of partially dried beef, generally sold compressed together in jars or flat in plastic packets. The processed meat producer Hormel once described it as “an air-dried product that is similar to bresaola, but not as tasty.”
Even Wikipedia hates Creamed Chipped Beef on Toast.
Please don’t miss the part where it talks about Creamed Chipped Beef on Toast’s career as military cuisine. I nearly fell off my chair. My Wonderful Grandfather loved this stuff and My Lovely Italian Grandmother made it lovingly for him. He was a WWII vet, so I guess it makes sense? I don’t know. I’ve had this stuff. I’ve regurgitated this stuff. I still don’t get it. I have a hard time eating food I do not understand. Its cousin, Creamed Eggs on Toast, is equally disturbing. Been there, barfed that, too.
As I write this, Fab Husband is supervising Kidzilla’s bedtime process. They are singing the Spam song from Monty Python’s Flying Circus. How apropos. (But why is He teaching Our Daughter this???)
Our second candidate: Green Beans and Ham. My Father’s Mother made this meal. I believe my StepMother made it at some point as well. My Father loved this stuff. I never liked it. I mean no offense to the cooks involved, truly. But this stuff was awful. I hate ham of every kind, so I’m kind of done by the time we get to that. I remember that my Father would eat it with ketchup on it – he LOVED ketchup. I love ketchup. Kidzilla loves ketchup. But even ketchup could not help Green Beans and Ham.
I do not know the recipe – but judging from the title, I’m guessing it’s not too hard to figure out. Curious, I just Googled that puppy. Shock and disbelief – it comes up on a whole bunch of websites! I’m going with allrecipes.com on this one, just because it came up first. Here it is…green beans, ham hocks, potatoes in a Crock Pot with garlic powder, onion powder, seasoned salt, chicken bouillon, and black pepper.
Hold me. I feel faint. Lima beans, Creamed Chipped Beef on Toast, and Green Beans and Ham all on one page. It is too much!
You can register your vote for Worst Meal Ever in the comments section. Or, please feel free to contribute your own Worst Childhood Meal Memory. I’d love to know what other horrors lurk out there…