Kidzilla Speaks – A Quickie from the Kitchen

Everybody knows that kids say the darndest things.  There was a TV show about it, right?  Bill Cosby was the host and it was based on material from an old Art Linkletter show.  You can YouTube that and get some good laughs.

Our Kidzilla, of course, comes out with a few winners every now and then.  I posted about the funny things that Zilla’s actions have prompted Fab Hub and me to say here.

But fairly often Zilla blurts out a few funny lines of her own.  They’re funny in the way that all kid-isms are funny, sure.  But the best part is that Our Daughter has impeccable comedic timing and tosses in precision tone of voice and facial expressions to supplement her one-liners.  The end result often leaves us in teary-eyed hysterics.

We have dozens of these, really.  We have a fabulous story about Zilla and a discussion regarding the proper and appropriate use of the various interpretations of the word “ass” that all started with a Bible story.  But that is a very long story for another day.

A few days ago, however, Our Daughter was decidedly offended that Fab Hub and I were sharing a hug in the kitchen.  I really thought kids weren’t grossed out by that until puberty.  Apparently, Zilla is advanced for her age.  Anyway, Zilla came into the kitchen and stopped dead in her tracks.

Z: “Would you two please stop hugging?”

Fab Hub: “We’re allowed to hug.”

Z:  “No, you’re not.”

Without stopping to think, I found myself saying what I had heard my Wonderful Grandfather say to any of his kids or grandkids when we caught him sneaking a kiss from my Lovely Italian Grandmother…

Me: “Um, how do you think you got here?”

The door to the Land of Opportunity for a Great Kidzilla-ism swung wide open here and Zilla obligingly walked right in…

She looked at us both with a confused expression and furrowed little eyebrows, as though we were the two most ignorant and uninformed people on the planet.  Then she said,

“I walked in from the dining room when I pulled the chair in to help you cook.”

Of course.

Probably worth noting here that Zilla worships at the Altar of the Literal…right next to her Fab Dad.

Tune in next time for more of Kidzilla’s deadpan one-liners.  In the meantime, what are some of your kids’ funniest utterings?  Share in the comments!