There are many things I don’t write about on my blog.
For starters, you won’t find a whole lot of controversy here. In my experience controversy tends to arise from discussions that center around the topics of religion, sex, and politics. A wise man once told me that religion, sex, and politics have no place at the kitchen table. I have found that to be a very good policy and it is one to which I adhere. Of course I have beliefs and opinions in these areas, but I find it works best for me to exercise and express them in more private venues.
I never intended this space to be one that would delve into these hard topics. Truth be told, I never intended this space to be at all. This blog started on a frustrated whim, born from a need to exercise my stifled creative muscles. I definitely started with no preconceived notion about what this space would – or would not – become. The fact that it exists at all nearly five years later is still somewhat of a surprise to me. Because I am such an intensely private person, sharing anything about myself, my opinions, my family, or my feelings is simply out of character. For a while, I remained completely anonymous, for various reasons. After a while, I was comfortable with a first name – but for me only, never my family, and not even for my cats. And now, as I stand on the precipice of publishing my first book, well, I suppose it will kind of be unavoidable to be go all in.
And don’t think that doesn’t terrify me.
Very few people know I’m about to publish this first book – or even that I’ve been working toward that end. (See? The non-sharing thing.) Why haven’t I been shouting it from the rooftops? (Because as it turns out, in the world of book marketing and author branding and such it’s kind of imperative that one shout such things from any available rooftop.) Fear. I’m terrified to share that bit of information because holy crap what if the book launches and nobody reads it or buys it or cares about it? What if people do read it and buy it and care about it but they think it sucks? And what if people do read it and buy it and care about it and they love it?
Every one of those possibilities terrifies me.
A lot of things terrify me.
There are stories I have written and tucked away, not to be shared here or anywhere else. They are stories that cover a wide range of topics, topics I think I won’t even list here because really, what would be the point? To tease and tantalize? To seem mysterious? That’s really not me. Some stories are simply not mine to tell and some stories do not need to be told. Maybe some things are best held in my heart. So before I share those things – if I ever decide to share those things – I want to be certain there is purpose in the telling. My purpose here on my blog and in my life is to live deliberately, to strive to learn about, grow into, and become the best me I can be. Perhaps exploring those hard-to-tell stories does lead to a better way to live, to love, or to be. But that isn’t always easy. In fact, it’s hard. Really hard.
And all of that terrifies me.
I often encounter the idea that we must do and write the things that scare us. I can see the merit in facing our private demons. But not all battles are meant for a public arena. Not all plays are meant for a public stage. Not all stories are meant to be told.
My untold stories are mine alone. But those sacred stories will always be a part of who I am, both as a person and as a writer. They will often color the words that I do send out into the universe. Those stories are always present, even though they may be words I do not write.
This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post.
This week our sentence prompt is “I don’t want to write about…”
FINISH THE SENTENCE FRIDAY is a link-up that enables writers and bloggers to share their ideas based on a particular sentence. To stay ahead of future sentences and participate, join our FACEBOOK GROUP!