TToT – Light from Darkness
As I was putting together my list of Thankfuls for the week, I realized that there was something of a theme at work.
We’ve had several “darker” moments this week – things that just haven’t been the most positive or haven’t gone quite the way we would have liked. But in several instances, a positive and much lighter scenario emerged from the darker event.
Daylight Savings Time has returned, giving us more light at the end of the day. For a while, though, the mornings will once again be dark. None of us love the darker mornings, but we know that will change again very soon and the days will be even longer and lighter.
This week, my favorite pair of black boots lost a heel. It is nearly impossible to find a great pair of black boots in March. But I did. And they were on a great sale – less than 50% of the original price. This is the distinct benefit of finding boots in March. But wait – it gets better. Thanks to the awesome sale price, a free shipping deal, and an online promo code discount, I got not one but two pair of the boots and a pair of jeans for Zilla for twenty bucks less than the original cost of one pair of boots.
We’ve had a strange week of mixed temperatures – 60 one day, 25 the next. The imbalance in the weather produced a horrible headache that lasted much of the week, but finally broke on Friday. Four day headache bad; realizing it was gone good. I am very happy to be rid of that headache. For me, having a headache makes it so difficult to do anything at full capacity – and this week needed full capacity in many ways.
Our little family of three enjoyed some time together on Friday after school. We visited the Farmers’ Market, as always, and ran into the Super Sister/Aunt there. Zilla is always surprised to see her there and gets very excited, despite the fact that it’s a fairly regular occurrence. On the way home, we took Zilla to a terrific candy store near us – lots of wonderful things to see there. While candy is far from the perfect food and dyes are obviously going to show up in things like candy-coated almonds and green-tinted St. Patrick’s Day goodies, we found far more in the shop with no dyes and I did not see the words “high fructose corn syrup” on a single label. Zilla wanted to try cherry cordials – one of my absolute favorites – but sadly, those do have red dye 40 in them. I will have to find some that don’t or figure out a way to make her some. But overall, we were happy for her to enjoy the trip and see that there are many delicious treats in the world for a kid who can’t have food dyes and HFCS. Of course candy isn’t the most important thing in the world, but it has to be difficult to know you need to pass by things that other kids enjoy without a thought. So while it’s difficult to suddenly have to give up things she has enjoyed in the past, Zilla is handling this whole thing like a champ and with a wisdom and understanding far beyond what I’d expect of someone her age.
Candy aside, we had several occasions this week to again be thrilled that we have a child who is not a finicky eater and is happy to try new foods. We are so happy that she enjoys so many good and healthy things. She absolutely loved several things we ate recently that I would never expect a five year old to even look at. It is a grateful parent indeed who says things like “Zilla, please eat something besides a vegetable.”
Zilla has had a very difficult week at school and we ended up in the unfortunate position of having to take a social event away from her this weekend as a result. (Someone should have told us how much THAT stings the parents, never mind the kids.) But there are some positives to the whole situation. When we discussed the less-than-admirable school behaviors with Zilla, she was able to give us very clear answers about what motivated her to make those choices and she understood why they were not good choices. She understands that her actions have consequences and that sometimes they are not what we would like. While we would have preferred not to have to deal with a big week of school trouble and discipline issues, the Fab Hub and I are a good parenting team and got through some really tough moments with Zilla this week well. Zilla was not happy with our decision about her punishment, of course, but took it pretty well and understood why that’s what needed to happen. And as an additional tag, we are so thankful to have talented and caring people around us to help us with these challenges.
This week, the Hub and I took the opportunity to spend some time together just relaxing and watching a show we found that we like. We’ve also been going to bed at the same time more often, which is positive. We are both getting more sleep because he’s going to bed earlier and his late arrival in the bedroom isn’t waking me up at a ridiculous hour. The fact that we’re getting more sleep is helpful in so many ways – it is so easy to ditch sleep when life gets busy and the tasks are too many to accomplish in a day, but we’re trying to make getting an appropriate amount of rest a priority. So far, we’ve done well. So maybe a chore or two isn’t getting finished at night or some paperwork has to wait another day, but we’re focusing on us and on our well-being.
I have been so grateful for warmer days this week – even with the frigid ones in between. While we are not completely out of winter’s grasp, there is promise of spring and more pleasant things to come. The message is not wasted on me. I am certain it is symbolic of lighter days to come for all of us very soon.
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What a good and mindful mother you are! You are so aware. Great job! xox jean
Thanks, Jean. I certainly aim to be, that’s for sure. This is one heck of a tough job! 🙂
You know, I should go to bed with hubby more often, too. Of the two of us, I’m probably the bigger night owl, and I’m going to bed much later than I should.
I’m glad that the troubles Zilla had in school – even though they were pretty unpleasant for all of you – also had positive aspects of good conversations, explaining of her motivations, and understanding why it might not have been right.
Hope you have a great weekend, Lisa, and enjoy the weather!
It would be so easy to get bogged down by the long stretch of bad days, but we are all working through it. There are reasons and as we identify them and isolate the impetus behind the behaviors, it helps all of us. She’s a wonderful kid – just having a tough time figuring herself out right now. This too shall pass. And in the process, it makes us all more aware of ourselves and how things are all tied together – one thing begets another, etc.
And on that subject, sleep helps a great deal for all of us. And the choice to go up to bed together is helping keep the Hub and me connected even in a week where we are just constantly dealing with one thing or another. It’s nice to see both of us making the choice to turn off the computer or close the book or whatever and just realize it’s time to sleep. For two lifelong non-sleepers, that’s pretty big progress!
So glad your headache went away! This weather needs to get warm and stay that way!
It certainly does, Kate!
So much good by the end I this week! Headache gone, new boots, even Zilla’s acceptance of her punishment. I’m going to try to take a page out of your book and get more sleep this week. I let myself stay up late several nights this week and am paying for it. To have achild who eats veggies. Sigh.
We can both fall into the no sleep pattern easily, but it really comes back to bite us in the butt soon after. The sleep is so important for so many things – helps with my immune system, helps keep all of our ADD in check, it’s better for weight and stress management…so we are making the effort.
I can’t even begin to be helpful in the getting kids to eat vegetables because my little weirdo has always loved them. When she was just two she wanted cut up cucumbers and tomatoes sprinkled with balsamic vinegar with dinner – such a little foodie!
YAY to focusing on YOU. That’s really good for both of you.
Can you make some kind of cherry cordial yourselves? There’d be no red in it then.
Wishing you ever more warm weather! Hope it all hurries up for you.
YAY a LOT to the boots.
It is definitely good for us and it’s all too easy to forget to make it a priority.
I am definitely going to figure out how to do a cherry cordial at home minus the nasty die. There has to be a way. Tomorrow I shall start digging!
Seriously, how awesome was that boot bargain??? That’s like a whole list right there. 🙂
Definitely!
http://www.anediblemosaic.com/?p=5867
I was so scared Daylight Savings time was going to ruin everything (first time mom, and just getting used to long sleeps at night) but our little fella just shifted an hour later too which was so nice! It’s still light when he goes to bed, which is weird, but a welcome change overall.
Has your little one always been a healthy / not finicky eater? A lot of my friend have kids that went from eating everything to refusing everything and I’d love to avoid that!
Hi, Melanie! I seem to remember Daylight Savings not being too much of a struggle for our Kidzilla when she was a baby – other than the light at bedtime, but we just got a room darkening shade to help with that. I think it bugs our cats more than our kid!
Zilla has always been a wonderful eater. She tries anything at least to give it a shot and really hasn’t met much she doesn’t like. She’s not really happy with things that are too spicy, but she is only five after all, and I wouldn’t expect that from a little kid. Aside from that, she loves pretty much everything. And we particularly love that she enjoys good, healthy foods. My Mom was actually a bit amazed tonight when Zilla ate plain nonfat Greek yogurt and some strawberries for dessert. It’s a pretty common choice for her and if she thinks dessert is nonfat yogurt and fresh fruit, I’m completely fine with that!
You and your husband are now my role models on healthy sleep habits! Impressive. It’s typically me waking my husband when I come to bed :(.
Best wishes for Zilla having a better week at school!
Well, we are working on it. We are both natural night owls and terrible insomniacs so it’s a struggle. We’re slowly working toward a better schedule…
Parenting is not for the faint of heart. It sounds like you and your husband are doing a great job with Zilla–and it sounds like she is doing a great job realizing the importance of a good diet. She must notice the difference in how she feels–otherwise, I think it would be difficult to pass up some of those artificially-colored, HFCS goodies.
She absolutely knows how horrible she feels when she eats something with dye in it and she hates it. I think that definitely helps her remember that it’s worth passing up whatever “goodie” it might be. And she’s learning that there are so many other good treats that don’t have those additives and that’s the very positive part.
Parenting is definitely not for the faint of heart – agreed! But really there should be a warning label someplace that it’s this tough some days.
Oh, yes. I remember more than once being heartsick that one of my offspring made a choice that cost them something that they wanted/I wanted for them/would have been so darned much fun. It does sting, but standing by your word and your expectations is the way to go. Stay strong!
The kid has to know that when we say there is a consequence, it stands. Kids live through these things and come out just fine – we all had our share of loss of privilege, etc. and we learned. Thanks for the vote of confidence!
wow…. you reminded me I have a zappos gift certificate from Christmas and that I still have to do taxes… I am notorious for doing them in late April… hate taxes! Sorry about the zilla week …. sometimes the punishment is for parents as well…. it takes such fortitude to be a good parent…kuddos to you! and Zilla…
We usually do our taxes the minute we have all of our paperwork in – our world is kind of crazy in April so we like to get it out of the way.
Yeah, this parenting thing is way hard.
Lovely. Yes, the mix of cold and then warm and dark and then light makes us more grateful for the warm and the light, doesn’t it?
It certainly does! I’ll be really happy to finally pull away from this winter for good, though!
I just love these posts! What show did you find to watch together? My husband and I seldom agree on shows so I’m always looking for things we can watch together. Hopefully, the weather will improve and stay a bit more stable very soon. We woke up to snow this morning after almost 70 degrees yesterday.
The show is called “Growing Up Fisher.” It might be on TV on Tuesdays? We never sit to watch TV – he found it on Hulu. It’s kind of Wonder Years-ish with the adult voice of the child character narrating. We like it.
We are supposedly getting some kind of nuisance snow tonight and tomorrow – but it’s been so nice the last couple of days I really don’t see how that’s happening.
I’m so glad Zilla took to the candy shop like a pro. Glad she got to see there’s plenty of goodies she can have that don’t have HFCS or dye. Sounds like you got a great deal on shoes. Awesome. I’m dreading when I’ll have to discipline Andrew when he’s able to talk back. Yikes!
You know, Zilla is such a great kid and she’s so mature about things like this – we really could not be more blessed in that regard. I know there are plenty of kids who would have a tantrum and a half about it, but she’s really doing great. I was thrilled to let her explore this candy shop. We’ve often made a stop at the candy place at the Farmers’ Market, but while the people are really very nice there and it’s always been sort of a fun thing to do, they unfortunately have just so many of the HFCS and dye type of treats. Having other choices is good for Zilla – and good chocolate? So not a bad thing.
Shoe deal was fantastic, right?
Ah, the discipline thing…it really stinks. But it’s a necessary evil. Again, we’re so grateful that our daughter handles these things well. Makes it a bit easier on us. Not much…but maybe just a little.
Have a great week!
interesting, your spousal sleep schedule thing, here it is my wife who has predictable sleeping hours and I have always been the non-predictable sleeper. Until of late, I have gotten up on most weeknights for several (fairly productive) hours on the computer. Lately, though I have been sleeping like a normal person.
Not sure I like it.
the DST I like in the evenings but not the mornings, as I am a ‘morning person’ as opposed to being a night person. But, the days are getting longer, a good thing that no one can disagree with!
There is definitely no argument about the longer days being a good thing – that’s for sure!
I get sinus headaches when the weather gets all wonky, too. Miserable! One of the bad things about transitioning from winter to spring. But those warm days make it worth it, don’t they?
I’m sorry you’ve had a rough week with Zilla. But it made for a wonderful teachable moment that has hopefully taught her something. Sounds like she has an understanding of the kind of behavior that is expected of her. You and Fab Hub have handled it all so well.
Getting enough sleep is so important. Our bodies and brains both need that to recharge. And I think not going to bed at the same time (at least most nights) can lead to a bit of a disconnect.
Spring really is coming. Or so I keep telling myself….
I am so happy to see spring around the corner – we’re still in the back and forth phase of moving out of winter, but I really feel like we might finally be turning the corner! A second snow storm in as many weeks sidestepped us so that’s positive. Either that or there’s a monster one yet to come. But I’m trying to be positive…
Zilla definitely knows what’s expected of her and most days that’s not a problem. But we’ve been in a rough stretch and we’re trying to make sure we all come out of it having learned something positive. I think she handled it so well. Thanks for the positive vote – we hope we’re doing it right!
We have not paid much attention to our sleep schedules and habits (other than keeping Zilla’s consistent) in the last several months and I think it’s taking a huge toll on all of us individually and as a family. Just getting to bed earlier and together in the last week or so has already produced some positive benefits for me and the Hub. Feels like we’re back on the same wavelength and not just ships passing. Tonight I’m going to have to bail sooner than he will, but we’re working to make it more of a habit.
Just keep saying it … spring is coming… spring is coming…
My son decided that daylight savings is evil and doesn’t see why he should follow it. Unfortunately, I kinda agree with him on that one. I’m not really sure what the point is anyway except to mess with our sleep.
After the first day of almost missing the bus, he gave it another try. Since then the transition has been smooth here. Yay!
Kidzilla does OK with it – other than being very concerned about how dark it was in the morning for the first couple of days. She seems to have adjusted just fine. I think it bugs the Rotten Cats more than any of the rest of us!
I so should follow you and your husband’s lead on getting more rest at night. It’s too easy to stay up too late, doing “one more thing” but I do feel so much better when I get some sleep! Thanks for the reminder.
I hear you too about the weather – it was gorgeous this weekend. Today, school was cancelled due to snow. Ready for Spring!
We fall into the “one more thing” or “just a few minutes more” habit far too easily. We are both natural nigh owls and have always struggled with insomnia. We’re really trying to work on getting more and better quality sleep. I think we are both starting to feel better for it and I know it helps (me at least) handle the stresses of the day better when I’m well rested. It’s amazing how huge an issue can seem on inadequate sleep. And going up to bed together gives us a chance to connect, too, and wrap up the day. That helps keep things on an even keep during the day, too!
You are so right – someone really should have told all of us that lessons for kids often are more painful for parents. I feel a little betrayed that I didn’t know that. 🙂
Yes, but see if we knew that going in, perhaps we wouldn’t be such willing customers. 🙂