Ten Things My Husband Will Never Understand
The Fab Hub is a terrific guy. He’s a great husband and a fantastic father. He is a talented musician and composer. He can build furniture, clip the Rotten Cats’ toenails, and paint a bedroom two shades of pink without breaking a sweat. (No, not all at the same time…)
But the man does not understand certain things in this world. And he will readily admit this. Case in point: when I told him what Stasha’s Monday Listicles topic was this week, he rattled off half of this list in ten seconds flat. My Mom always says that half of being smart is knowing what you’re dumb at. The Hub knows.
Today we’d like to share ten things the Fab Hub does not understand…
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Where things go in the refrigerator. Or the pantry. Or the cabinets. Or the dresser drawers. My Husband has accused me of “booby trapping” all storage areas in our home. It’s really not true. I just like things the way I like them. He does not understand the way I like them. As a result, we enjoy a fun game called “Where Does This Go?”
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How to do little girl hair. Dexterous as his hands might be on the saxophone keys and despite valiant efforts to help Zilla with her hair, the Hub simply cannot put a barrette or a ponytail in Zilla’s hair with any success.
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Why certain items of clothing should not be dried in the dryer, but can be placed in the dryer to fluff them after they have air dried.
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Why there are so many different kinds of purses and the differences between them. In his mind, they all fit into one neat category called “bag.”
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Why I can’t turn off the light before I get into bed. I don’t really know, either. It’s a thing. I need to be in bed before the light goes out.
- How I remember that I need something from downstairs at precisely the moment his tuchus hits the mattress at night.
- Cooking. My Mom used to say, “If you can read, you can cook.” I believed her. I’ve told the Hub this and I fully believe that he can cook. He disagrees. He says that in his mind, the process goes something like this: Make fire. Make food hot. Eat food. He claims that he does not understand it in the way that I do. Still, the man makes a killer steak on the grill and his homemade waffles are to die for. So I’m not sure if this one really counts.
- Why his coffee is so damn good. Really, he doesn’t get it. He uses the scoop that came with the jar that we use to store our coffee beans, which is probably not even an accurate measure by any standard. He has told people precisely what he does and they follow the directions precisely, but cannot produce the same result. It’s inexplicable. He obviously understands coffee, but does not know why his is so particularly good. And it is – anyone who has had it will tell you it’s spectacular.
- Why people devalue the arts. This is a pretty big one. He just doesn’t understand how something so important and culturally representative – and in many cases culturally defining – can be brushed off and tossed aside in the manner that it is so often today.
- How someone could be around our Rotten Cats and not love them. Personally, I think they are all little a$$holes. The Hub is of the opinion that they are the most loveable cats on the planet. He really doesn’t understand how people can spend any amount of time with them and be a cat lover convert.
What things confound your husband? Or you? Share in the comments!
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LOVE THIS…the booby trap thing had me cracking up, my hubby can’t seem to find anything and has no idea where things are even when he uses them day after day.
I’m not fond of cats either….
The part I don’t understand is how he can take out the item he uses, but not remember where it came from and just put it back there.
Great list…especially #3!!!!
Yes, that one really bothers him. I think it’s just not quite logical enough for his mind – he’s very literal. Makes sense to me…not to him!
Maybe it is a man trait that makes it so while they seem to know exactly where to look to find things in the first place, they can’t remember where they go back on the shelf, drawer dishwasher. It’s not that friggen hard!!!!!
And yet apparently, it is very common – can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a similar story. Has to be about their male makeup! 😀
they all fit into one neat category called “bag.”——The word guffaw comes to mind as I think about my reaction to reading this line. It just hit me so funny!
The Hub says you have an excellent sense of humor. 😀
The essence of handbags and purses is to complicated for the male brain. And cooking… well… mine needs help boiling an egg so yeah..I get that.
My husband has a problem with the concept ’empty’. He will put empty jars back in their spot on the shelf, claiming they are NOT empty because a molecule still clings to the bottom.
My Husband claims he can’t cook, but he managed to handle the chicken in the slow cooker just fine today – now I can retire!
oh boy, the washing machine and dryer for me. I’m always putting in the wrong thing and my wife either has to instruct me what not to put in there and what really to put in there. It’s a constant battle. Lately, I’ve just handed the whole thing off to her and stuck to my own clothes. I’ve gotten better, but still I let something in that I shouldn’t.
I think the interactions like this between men and women are fascinating – what we understand, what we don’t, and how we deal with it.
Your demon cats, look exactly like my demon cat! But I do love mine. LOL
I really do love them. My feigned dislike is just a little stubborn game on my part. They are completely my buddies. 🙂
Love it! My girls & I are ALWAYS having my husband get stuff after he has finally climbed into bed to relax or just got comfy on the couch. It seems to be the only way we remember or notice that we need something. Also, I need to take a picture of how he does the girls’ hair. It’s quite interesting, but at least he’s trying right? Happy Friday!
Well, I’m glad to know it happens in other families! Now I don’t feel so bad. 🙂
AW!!! Your hubs is such a great guy!!! I love that he sees the value in the arts and in your cats!!! LOL
Well, he’s a musician, so the arts are important to him – to all of us. And the guy loves his cats. I read somewhere that men who are kind to animals make good fathers and husbands – guess that’s true!